Enough Is Enough! Get This Perfomative Femininity Bs Off The Road

And Excuse My French But What The Fuck is Divine Feminine Core Even?

First things first, bind all these feminine coaches and throw them into the ocean. Enough is enough. And before anyone comes for me, relax. I am joking.

Or am I? Truly, something is going on and it needs to be addressed.

I am assuming you are already familiar with the femininity and soft life aesthetic movement. Everybody knows it. Dress like this, talk like this, act like this in order to attract this or that. Yes, that one. I have had enough.

When the phrase soft life first entered our cultural vocabulary, it meant something real. It meant rest. It meant relief. It meant that women, especially African women who are used to carrying everything on their heads and in their hearts, deserved a life that was not built on constant sacrifice.

Soft life was supposed to be a movement that encouraged women to rest from all the labor society forced on them. Childbirth, childcare, domestic engineering, emotional support, cooking, cleaning, serving, mending, fixing. Chores on top of chores on top of chores.

Women said enough. Our lives cannot revolve only around caring and carrying. We deserve ease. We deserve tenderness. We deserve better.

Soft life was supposed to be a rebellion. A refusal. A woman looking at the world and saying, I deserve a life that does not drain me.

Somewhere along the way, we lost the plot.

What we call soft life today is not actually softness but a production. It is curated aesthetics.perfected in neutral colors and pastel. Women are not resting but are performing rest for an audience.

The original soft life was political. It was about dignity; about stepping out of survival mode. It was about reclaiming time, emotional safety and a sense of personal worth.

What we see on social media these days is a highlight reel edited for male consumption and female competition.

The original soft life used to say, I refuse to suffer. Now it says “Look at me” Please look at me.

Do I look soft enough?

There is even a subsection of this new soft life that gives off hookup vibes. It is not full blown sex work; just this strange in-between world where your lifestyle is paid for in tiny, inconsistent fragments by men you do not like, do not know and do not respect, but whose attention still feels like currency.

If you question it, you are labelled jealous or judgmental or not feminine enough. No problem o. I may jealous because who dash me provider? I like to have and own my own money.

Let’s not even get started on the women that are pushing this soft, divine feminine narrative. You know the type. She is in her feminine era, leaning back, letting her man provide. Her life and her self-worth have been curated to be consumed. She can deliver a whole TED Talk on high value men but cannot fill half a page with her own personal dreams. She teaches other women how to relax and attract wealth from men while making money off them from her coaching business to actually take care of herself.

This is the point where we need to pause and ask serious questions.

How did we trade actual comfort for images suggesting comfort? We traded peace for packaging. We traded restoration for presentation.

The soft life was created as an escape from patriarchal expectations and somehow became another one. Dress like this. Walk like this. Talk like this or you’re not woman enough. The irony is bitter.

Be feminine. Be delicate . Be expensive. Be aesthetically pleasing at all times. Do your hair up nice. Make your nails pretty. Purr like a cat when you speak. Do not show anger, Do not be bitter. Be soft, but in a way that photographs well.

Ask yourself sincerely: Who benefits from this new version of femininity? It’s definitely not women because women are tired.

Men benefit.

Brands benefit. Influence economies benefit.

Everyone profits from you looking soft. No one actually cares if you feel soft.

It probably works for other people; I really do not know. But how can anyone live in Nigeria, with this evil economy and still base her entire lifestyle on the unpredictable whims of another human being? Worse still, a man. How is that softness? How is that luxury?

Real softness is not aesthetically pleasing. It is self-protective. It is boundaries. It is saying no. It is opting out. It is choosing yourself. It is owning your own. It is disappearing to rebuild.

If the soft life is costing you your sanity, your finances, your authenticity, or your emotional well-being, or it is making you financially dependent, emotionally insecure, or socially performative, it is not soft. It is a trap. Reject it now and rest, for your own good.

The real soft life is not funded by strangers. It is built by you. For you. It is created from stability, freedom, community, self trust and the kind of peace you cannot manufacture for a camera.

This modern performance of femininity still centers men, still depends on men, still chases male approval.

New script, same authors.

Why can so many women see it clearly, yet feel pressured to perform it anyway?